Seasonal Healing: How to Heal in the Fall
At Radiant Effect, this is it for us! The time of year when we feel most grounded, nurtured and in alignment with our purpose.
It wasn’t always this way though. Fall used to be full of anxiety, pressure, and a fight to stay healthy as we piled on the expectations for ourselves and loaded up with obligations.
So what changed?
If you’ve read our stories then you know that Rachel came up hard on burnout and Meg spiraled into a tailspin with her autoimmune disease. We both crashed in ways that have left a permanent mark on us. It might surprise you to know that these scars of exhaustion and illness were actually our biggest gifts and best teachers. They propelled us to learn more and create powerful changes in our lives.
You don’t have to hit rock bottom to learn what we learned though. You can start right now.
Right now, you may find yourself more tired and longing for quiet and cozy moments. This is natural. Be gentle with yourself. You may also find in contrast with those cues to rest that the running tally of to-do's and places where your effort is needed is still piling up.
Outside, we watch the leaves fall and decompose. Without their foliage, the light filters through the branches of the trees. And muted browns and grays of the season contrast the reds and golds of late summer. The days are shorter and the colder weather is upon us. This is Autumn. Autumn is the perfect time to begin your healing journey.
How do we begin to heal in the Fall?
Fall begs us to let go. Let it all go. Expectations, obligations, experiences, stories, people, belongings. Anything that is draining our energy with little to offer in return. At its heart, this is about creating boundaries and requires us to know our values.
During her period of burnout, Rachel was reminded that at her core she values ease. She loves to work hard with lots on the go, but she realized the need for spaciousness throughout the day. This led her to prioritize her morning beach walks with her husband and dog without exception. This time became a sacred opportunity to get outside, connect with her family and ground herself by the ocean before the day started. She found that this small action had an immense trickle effect through her day. She also prioritized downtime throughout the day, balancing work and action with rest and relaxation. This refueled her in a way that the days could be enjoyable again.
For Meg, she could not imagine a life where she couldn’t move, which led her to reevaluate what expectations she had placed upon herself. She had to let go of trying to do everything by herself. She had to let go of the ways her body had performed before. She had to let go of putting others' needs before her own. Instead, she had to redefine what healthy movement meant for the body she lived in. She had to renegotiate her work schedule and prioritize rest and self compassion. And the hardest thing of all, she had to ask for help over and over again.
Healing doesn’t happen in a silo. It takes time and support and like the cycles around us, there are seasons of greater transformation and seasons of dormancy and vibrancy.
Here are the top 5 things we recommend to help you on your healing journey this Fall.
Write down your core values.
This is like creating your own north star for health. If we don’t know what our values are, it’s very hard to make decisions that support us. We may bend and stretch for other people’s needs and expectations. We may do things out of a misplaced sense of obligation. We may abandon ourselves or simply fill up space without creating meaning. When we know what we value deep down, we can resolve some of our internal conflict over what is the right action to take and rest easier knowing that we are living authentically.
If you’re not sure what your values are, start by considering times in your life when you felt most at ease, content and in flow. What were the circumstances that surrounded you? Who were you with? Where were you? This can help shine a light on what’s important. For example, if you experienced these feelings while you were out for a hike, with your family, you might list your values as time with family, connection to nature, physical activity.
2. Cultivate self-compassion and loving kindness.
Listen to the words you use to speak to yourself. Are they full of compassion and loving-kindness? Often we are the harshest with ourselves. Practice speaking kindly to yourself as though you were supporting a dear friend. "It is alright. You are doing your best. It’s ok to rest." The more we practice this skill, the stronger that voice becomes and we can turn the volume down on judgement, shame and guilt.
3. Practice letting go.
Just like the leaves falling from the tree, you can practice letting go in small gentle ways. Start with things that feel easy. Perhaps it’s a culling of possessions, clearing out the tupperware drawer or your bedroom closet. These more subtle acts of non-attachment can help prepare us for tough things that we may need to let go of.
As you are able, practice letting go of some of the ‘should’s’ on your list that don’t align with your core values. For example, ‘I should meet my work colleague for coffee but it conflicts with my value to spend time with my family.’ Or, ‘I should go to the gym and run on the treadmill but it conflicts with my value to be more mindful with my movement.’
With more confidence in your ability to say ‘no’ to what you don’t want and ‘yes’ to what you do want, you may find yourself letting go of bigger things that don’t align with your north star! For example, a job you dislike, a partner who doesn’t support you, a place you no longer want to live, etc.
4. Let your emotions flow.
Just like letting go of physical and tangible experiences can free us up to heal on all levels, so can letting go of held emotion.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the fall is associated with the emotion of grief and sadness. Everyday life brings many instances of grief from small to large. We often think of this profound emotion as shocking and sudden and yet it is something we may walk with everyday in our human experience. Relationships change, possessions wear out, dreams shift, bodies age and we must continuously let go. An inability to do so inhibits our capacity to live fully into the human experience.
This is just one way that we may need to give ourselves grace to express our emotions and yet its weight is worth mentioning as it is often a place where we hold, contract and protect ourselves. Whatever the emotion you are holding, allowing it to flow will help move it through your body. This inturn can help bring you back to a place of neutrality, where we can make decisions, reflect, and even support others in their process.
5. Rest.
This can be the hardest part for many of us. It can even feel unsafe to slow down and take rest. And yet, every system in our body requires us to have adequate rest in order to function properly. With colder, darker days, our bodies are giving us cues to go slower. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep moving, but it may mean creating more opportunities to rest. This is doubly important if you are suffering from burnout, exhaustion and fatigue, or autoimmune conditions. Rest must become a priority. We recommend practices like yoga nidra, focus meditations, and restorative yoga as ways to tune into rest.
If you have a hard time slowing down but know that your body would benefit from it, try walking, qi gong, or gentle yoga.
Though there is so much more we could add to the list, we know that having more to-do’s goes against the principles of healing in fall. Now is the time for grace, space and letting go.