Going it Alone or Working Together

Do you ever get the feeling that it’s all up to you?  If you don’t do it yourself, it won’t get done. 

We know this feeling all too well and yet we’ve learned first hand that linking arms lightens the load.  It’s ok to ask for help and people want to help you!  The trick is letting go of expectations and giving in to trust the strength of others in their abilities to show up.  

The story of The Hub Life is built on this kind of trust and we’re confident in the ability of our community to hold space for each other.  We have seen time and again that when we come together with open hearts and listening ears we can go so much further!

This premise is actually based on science too.  Our nervous systems co-regulate together.  If you sense that someone is at ease, you start to feel at ease too.  This allows us to drop our guard and show up authentically.  

The term co-regulation comes from psychology and Dr. Stephen Porges describes it as “reciprocal sending and receiving of signals of safety.  It is not merely the absence of danger but the connection between two nervous systems; each nourishing and regulating the other in the process”.  Or simply, You’re ok, I’m ok.  I’m ok, you’re ok. 

Co-regulation is one of the most effective ways to bring our nervous system to a place of calm and there are lots of ways that we can foster a positive experience for others to mirror back to us.  Most often, these are non-verbal and pre-cognition, meaning without thinking.  The sound of a melodic voice, gentle smiling eyes, an upturned mouth, a relaxed stance, all communicate to our brain that we are in a safe social setting.  This recognition of safety happens before we can even think it.  Our body feels it, our breath eases, we loosen up.  We can help ourselves develop better self regulation by working with this tool of co-regulation. 

Choose people to spend time with who help you feel at ease and safe to be vulnerable with.  Say no to invitations with people who create stress for you and cause your body to clam up.  Join a community of people working on this together.  Better yet, join a community of people who are moving their bodies together while co-regulating.  We might happen to know a safe space!